Cure My Cold With 10 Comfort Commercials

Its been a while, and I’ve been feeling sick. So lets take a second, crack open a case, and get “dressed up” to post about some “comfort” commercials. After all that is what cures all colds, right?

Now I don’t mean “comfort” in a fuzzy things sort of way, like the Snuggle Bear, which got incredibly creepy once it became animatronic, by the way.

No, I say comfort more in the sense that these are some good quality go-to commercials, although some might give you the warm fuzzy feelings too. They’ve been re-used for a few years, but I’m not complaining. Who says you can’t re-use a good commercial? They get the job done and are actually some of the best commercials out there.

So without further ado….comfort commercials:

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1. Meijer. I love Meijer commercials, and the store. Would I want to work there? Absolutely not, but will I shop there? You bet your ass I will, and do, at crazy hours of the evening. The straight forward campaign that Meijer has the same quality products at a cheaper price is…well…straight forward. And funny.

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2. Pedigree Dog Food. Put in the amazing voice of David Duchovny and I’m there. I don’t even have a dog and I want to buy Pedigree. Cute. To the point…and oh yeah its a good commercial too.

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3. Allstate. Wait. Wait. Hear me out. Not the one with Dennis Haysbert, the one with Dennis Duffy! This could be because I really like Dean Winters‘ character Dennis from 30 Rock, “Hey Dummy, yeah as soon as my beeper went off I knew it was you,” but it could also be because of the way he goes about playing the role of Mayhem. Either way, I find his utter lack of respect for vehicles comforting to watch. It really spices up the Allstate commercials from Dennis Haysbert always asking, “are you in good hands?” Right? Right.


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4. Reese’s. Peanut. Butter. Cups. I really don’t have to say more, but I will. Reese’s are delicious and so are their commercials. Every year they play this commercial. Simple and perfect! I wish more companies would follow suit. Not to mention this gets me super excited for Halloween. Lady Gaga here I come!
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5. Kellogg’s Frosted Mini Wheats. I’m a big fan of miniaturizing things. I actually think its one of the most successful ploys out there. Women can’t resist miniature objects, as long as its not…you know what. Anywho, you have Frosted Mini Wheats characters that can talk, get your kids to school on time, compliment your work, and they taste good? That’s a recipe for success.

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6. Hershey Kisses Christmas commercial. You recognize this one, and amazingly I don’t hate it. I expect to see this Kisses commercial each year and I even get a little upset when I don’t see it.


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7. Muppets. Any commercial with the Muppets is not only comforting but wanted. I love Kermit. Please do more! I repeat you cannot go wrong with the Muppets! Unless you kill them. Even though I love Lady Gaga, I had to post her murdering Kermit…had to.

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8. Skittles. They play this one every once in a while and although I don’t remember his “personal” speech midway, this commercial still gives me a warm feeling. Probably because I’m hot for Skittles and want them. But if I slammed my fists on my desk at work and Skittles were there, I’d be ecstatic! 1. I wouldn’t have to finish work because my job would be to clean up Skittles with my mouth and 2. I’d have a room full of Skittles! Comforting concept.


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9. Sam Bernstein. I might get some slack for this. But seriously, you know these commercials. When you see them, do you not instantly smile? When a new one comes on, does a piece of you not jump with excitement? You know the number, you know the man, you know his family. This is a comfort commercial! You go Sam Bernstein.

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10. Life Alert. If this isn’t a comfort I don’t know what is.

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I feel so much better after that last one. Well thats its. My list of comfort commercials. Hopefully later today I can curl up on the couch, with a blanket, in my Lady Gaga costume, and watch some of these comfort commercials over a huge plate of food. If not, I’ll suffice for getting drunk off beer and hopefully the sickness will just disappear much like my hangover.

3-Dont Part Deux

As a quick addition to my first post, because of this 3-D craze other companies have been trying to jump on this burning bandwagon in hopes that they can gain some revenue due to declining sales.

One of the funniest to me is Playboy in 3D. Not so much that there is a magazine in 3D, because thats been done before, and well its how I remember it as a child.

No, its more the visual of men, and some women, across America with two-toned paper glasses, looking at the centerfold in their “position of choice”. That’s one visual I don’t need to see in 3D.

Then there is pretty much every television company trying to make some profit off the hype. Sony, Samsung, Philips, Panasonic, LG, Toshiba…I’m sure this list goes on. They all have, or are in the process of making, 3D television sets. Ugh. Really?

“Hey can you pass the remote and those old pink-eye contagious glasses so I can watch this movie?” If they make designer 3D glasses, I might look directly at an eclipse. Not the Twilight movie, although that may have the same end result, an actual eclipse. Man, I’m ready for this trend to fade as it does every year.

UPDATE: Today I saw a commercial for 3-D Sidewalk Chalk by Crayola. What!? How is this even possible? Come on!

3-Dont

Every year there are around five 3-dimensional films released to remind the world that this technology exists. These films are usually animated films, but also action films that we wished were in good old 2-D. It’s only May and 3-D has blasted its way onto a ridiculous amount of films.

Lets take quick look at some 3-D madness:

-A Christmas Carol (2009)
-Alice in Wonderland (2010)
-Avatar (2009)
-Clash of the Titans (2010)
Friday the 13th Part 2 in 3D (2010)
-Final Destination 4 (2009)
Halloween 3D (2010)
-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 & 2 (2010-2011)
-How to Train your Dragon (2010)
-Hubble 3D (2010)
-Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009)
Jackass 3D (2010)
-Megamind (2010)
-Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)
Saw VII (2010)
-Shrek Forever After (2010)
Step Up: 3D (2010)
-Toy Story 3 (2010)
-Tron Legacy (2010)

There are also talks of re-releasing Star Wars, Jaws, and Hamlet in 3D!

Some of these I understand. Animation movies are easily connected with 3D and can bring the graphics that much more to life. So I’m in full support of Toy Story and Ice Age in 3D. I’ve also been told that Avatar is amazing in 3D (I’m one of millions that refuses to watch it), and Star Wars 3D just makes tons of sense.

Then..well then there are films like Hamlet, Halloween, Saw and Jackass that just make me wish 3D never became the big craze again. Halloween and half of that list (there were about 10-15 more for 2010, but I got tired of listing), are just abusing this old technology. It’s getting annoying.

Please movie world, only use 3D if it makes sense and adds to your story. If you’re just using it because you think its cool…its probably not.

Trust me if you have a good plot, 2D is enough. Then again, after watching the remake of the first Halloween, which was horrible horrible shit compared to the classic original, they really might need 3D to create an ounce of hype.

Dear Facebook

Well you asked what’s on my mind. Oh Facebook Facebook Facebook. You are in both my personal and working life. Even if I tried to I could not escape you. I appreciate your ability to make connections, post content, share photos, promote companies and communicate with customers, but what’s with the “page” madness?

Back in the day, and by that I mean a month ago which is a long time in Facebook world, “Pages” were used for companies, celebrities, TV shows, bands, and anything else that you wanted to receive content worthy updates about. You became a “Fan” of these pages because, just like a psycho fan, you wanted to know anything and everything about these topics.

Now you no longer become a fan. You “Like” a page. Like. Hmm.

Like has become the LOL of Facebook. Its kind of a reflex. You aren’t actually laughing out loud, in fact you’re just looking for a response to something that you read, processed, and raised an eyebrow at. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes you do laugh out loud, or really do like a page, but more times than not..no, just a reflex.

Facebook has now made it mandatory, for me at least, to join a bajillion pages in order to have any content in my information section.

What this new feature creates is a clusterfuck of pages about..nothing! As much as I enjoy napping there doesn’t need to be a page about it on Facebook. I know what it is. I know how to nap. I don’t want updates of who is napping, and I don’t want to link my interest to a thousand other losers who like to nap.

Can it not be enough that I physically type “I like to nap” as an interest? Must you delete all of my witty content, and force everything to become a click-able link that connects to a page?

I can only imagine users hitting the “Like” button to everything that comes their way. It seems to me that pages will sort of lose their luster. Pages won’t be creative anymore, and companies/celebrities will get lost in a sea of nonsense.

There is an old saying that less is more. Stop this page madness! Leave those for what they were good for…stalking celebrities, TV show characters, band members, and companies that you wanted a job from.

And let me pretend that I have interests of my own without being forced to link to pages. I know that I’m not the only one who likes to people watch. You don’t need to point it out to me. Just let me have that one. Until then, I will remain an info-less member of the Facebook world.

No Tape? Check Your Roll.

Next time you’re out of tape, just check the roll. Wrapping paper companies are beginning to include sheets of tape within their packaging. If this is old news I apologize, its just the first I’ve seen it. It really was a stroke of genius whomever decided to include these sheets of tape.

Lets face it. No one really knows how to wrap well. Sometimes I think my presents would look better if I just crumpled them up in a ball of colorful paper. Try to pass it off as art. You might as well have a drink or two, or five, while wrapping for false confidence. So what happens when you reach the point where you realize you forgot Scotch tape?

Do you look around for objects in your home that have tape on them, in the hopes that you can reuse it? That channel changer back that always falls off. Think you can carefully peel away that piece? Will it have enough stick? No no, you can’t risk the remote not working!

Check your roll. If you’re lucky, it will have a tape sheet inside that will save you from having to sober up and actually buy it.

Thank you wrapping paper for containing a sheet of tape within your packaging.  I really do appreciate the little things you do for me.

Philogyny = love of or liking for women.

Every once in a while I will admit my love for certain celebrity females. I have one of those, I’d be a lesbian for these women, lists. Mainly because they are incredibly attractive and never cease to amaze me. A great foundation for an obsession, no?

Now, I’m a lover of men. Trust me, even though my friends don’t. There is just something about these few specific women that I can’t help but like. Today, I’m openly admitting my love for Shirley Manson, in case previous posts haven’t tipped you off.

I came across this ad for Oliver Peoples‘ glasses. The campaign film ‘Les enfants sennuient le dimanche (The children are bored on Sundays), directed by Autumn De Wilde, containing music by Zee Avi, and featuring Elijah Wood and Shirley Manson is amazing.

I saw the photos (featured below) for Oliver Peoples’ print campaign, but somewhere along the line I missed that it was a short film as well. Imagine my excitement.

I’ll tell you, it was ridiculous. Elijah Wood did a great job and of course this just makes my love for Shirley Manson that much stronger.

Even though I idolize this woman like crazy and consider her my heroine, and, okay, I sometimes confuse love for extreme admiration and respect, this in no way cheapens my passionate affection for her. So, without further ado, here is the video:

(click to enlarge)

Embrace Life

Sussex Safer Roads Partnership, from the UK, created a public service announcement (Embrace Life) about buckling up your seat belt. An all around stunning and heart felt commercial, no other words are really necessary. Just watch…and wear your seat belt.